A Plus Attitudes

Happy  Valentine’s Day. I’m curious how everyone celebrates the day of love and romance and how you feel about the holiday?

I know that my views on this holiday have changed as I have matured. I used to dread Valentine’s Day when I was single and younger. It was a reminder that I didn’t have someone who loved me and so I really dreaded the day. It was one day out of the year where I truly felt alone and sad. I so wanted some secret admirer to send me flowers, a box of chocolates or a nice piece of jewelry revealing his secret love to me. I really didn’t have anyone in mind, I just wanted to feel desired, special and loved. I guess that is what we all truly want.

I have been blissfully and happily married for 23 years. My husband gives me roses every year for Valentine’s Day. Actually it’s a Birthday/Valentine’s Day gift. My birthday is on the 11th. Although I enjoy receiving the flowers, I have  learned after 23 years of marriage that I don’t really need jewelry, roses, chocolates or anything material for that matter to feel loved.

My husband and I have gotten  to the point in our marriage that we rarely exchange gifts on any holiday or birthday. We recognize that material things don’t reflect our love for each other. How we treat each other is far more important than stuff.  I know my husband loves me because he wants to spend time with me. We cycle together, we vacation together, we dine together we binge watch our favorite Netflix and other programs together. He sends me sends me articles he thinks I will enjoy reading and vice versa.  We  go out on dates a couple of times a month.

We also make a point of letting each other know how much we appreciate them and that we still find them desirable.

To me, Valentine’s shouldn’t be just about romantic love. I think it should be a day loving kindness. A day where we do random acts of kindness. A simple kind gesture , a smile extended to a friend, neighbor, relative or even a stranger goes a long way. I love the Beatles’ song, “All You Need Is Love”. Love, not the romantic kind, is the answer to so much of our troubles in the world. If we truly love one another, then maybe we would be working together to accomplish things instead of competing against  one another to be better or have more. Maybe if we loved one another, there would be more peace and less violence.

So on this Valentine’s Day, or tomorrow, since it’ salmons midnight, instead of focusing on romantic love or maybe in addition to romantic love, let’s add loving kindness to the theme as we go thought our day. Think of some kind words or actions you can perform for a family member, coworker, neighbor, elder, or stranger. It could be as simple as holding the door open for the person behind you while you smile and say “have a nice day”, or buying a coffee for the person behind you and saying “have a lovely Valentine’s Day”.  Be creative, but more importantly be kind and and loving.

May you have a wonderful day full of love. Sending you all loving kindness. Happy Valentine’s Day.